The Knights meets Chuck Norris
by LongAgoOldAndForgotten
Summary: The Knights meets Chuck Norris! Just a short Oneshot. It's all about humour! As explained on my profile - written years ago for a King Arthur Forum.


The Knights were in the tavern doing what they usually do, not noticing the stranger enter the tavern

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG" Galahad said *jumping up and down insanely*

"What is it this time?" Lancelot groaned

"It's… it's…. Walker the Power Ranger!" Galahad squeaked *still jumping and pointing at Chuck Norris*

"Its Chuck skirt boy," Chuck said dryly.

*Galahad glares at Lancelot for a second then continues to jump up and down skipping towards Chuck*

"So did you come to help us in the movie?" Galahad said fluttering his eyelashes.

"No, if I were to be in the movie, the movie will only be 2 seconds long" Chuck said coolly.

"Oh yeah, your roundhouse kick has that effect on things" Gawain said rolling his eyes.

"I KEEL you." Background Roman soldier said.

"Darn stubborn, ugly Roman, Didn't you have enough of my apples in the previous story?"

"Is it always like this?" Chuck asked joining the knights at the table.

"Some times. But Galahad is always like this." Arthur said.

"You can stop jumping now Galahad" Lancelot said.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG it's Chuck Norris." Galahad said still jumping

"What de fuck?" Knights said in unison.

"Did you perhaps by any change roundhouse kick him lately?" Bors asked.

"I might have" Chuck answered.

"Coz seriously… the pup's insane, repeats himself as if he forgot we know." Bors said.

"hmm I've been told that my roundhouse kick has that effect." Chuck answered.

"Neat…. You….. teach…. Me" Tristan said *imitating Bruce Lee mouth moving no sound style*

"RUUUUUUUUUUUSS!" Bors shouted *waving Sage's foam bat in the air*

"Don't you start to" Tristan growls.

"What? Sage said I must wave it, so I'm waving it." Bors said innocently.

"Why don't you give that foam bat to Galahad, he seems to have the energy to wave it." Gawain said staring at a still jumping Galahad.

"Yeah, give it. I'll wave it! I'll wave it high." Galahad said happily.

"I KEEL…." Background Roman soldier started but was startled when Tristan jumped up and run to him and started chasing him.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUS!" Galahad shouted grabbing the foam bat from Bors and ran after them waving the foam bat.

Foam Bat: *swish, swish*

"I guess someone has to stop him, he is mistaken Tristan for someone who take things lightly." Lancelot said.

"Forget the soldier… Someone has to stop Galahad before Tristan sticks that bat …" Gawain started

"Gawain…. A little less detail please." Arthur stopped him.

Just then Tristan returned with Galahad still behind him swinging the foam bat.

"Someone tell this skirt boy to calm down before I….."

"We know what you want to say, but please don't say it… "Arthur stopped him.

Stranger enters the tavern.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG" Galahad said *jumping up and down insanely*

"Are you STILL jumping?" Lancelot groaned

"It's… it's…. David …..ummmm….. That thong guy…. I mean….. That rescue guy…!" Galahad squeaked *still jumping and pointing at David Hasselhoff*

"That's right." David said flashing a smile.

"What de fuck?" Chuck said standing up.

"What? Surprise to see I'm in this story too." David asked

"Yeah….. I'm the favourite here."

"Oh Hun, I don't think so, I'm hot and you're not so get over it." David said stamping his foot waving his forefinger.

"Pf… soooo Tristan do you still want me to teach you to kick?" Chuck asked

"Oh YES." Tristan said standing up.

"Lesson number one…. Kick hard… Lesson number two… Kick him please." Chuck said

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG…. I want to." Galahad said still jumping up and down…

"What de fuck? What do you have that will help.. A pink belt in Ballet?" Lancelot laughed.

"Yeah….. Wanna see me stick my toe in his eye."

"ummmm... That will also do the job." Chuck said.

"Hey… I'm the favourite here…"

"Not really.. How about you fuckhoff. Hmmm now there's an idea…" Chuck said.

"Oh you silly Billy…. It's Fuck off… not fuckhoff…." Galahad corrected him.

"I told you before it's Chuck Skirt boy."

"Enough!" Arthur stopped them.

"Good Lord… It doesn't matter who the favourite is or not, we all know it's me since I'm the King in this story! Bottom line is what are you two doing here in the first place?" Arthur asked.

"Good question. The truth is, this story needed someone loud…." Chuck said.

"That would be my job." Bors corrected him.

"Fine…. Someone handsome…" Chuck said.

"Ehem…. Over here!" Lancelot waved.

"Fine… Someone hairy…" Chuck said.

"I guess that would be me." Gawain said.

"grrrr…. Someone Mysterious…." Chuck.

"Me, me, me… all me….. And don't you dare touch my apples…" Tristan growled.

"Fine…. Someone big…" Chuck said.

"Job's taken…" Dagonet said.

"Ok… that's it… This story needed a hero…" Chuck said..

"That would be me… sooooo you are then in the wrong story…" Arthur said.

"I probably am."

"Wait you forgot about me." Galahad said.

"Boy do I look like 10 to you?" Chuck asked.

"No…" Galahad answered

"Then I can't take your job." Chuck said.

"So why are you here then David." Arthur asked.

"Oh, I saw the lights and thought this was a costume party." David answered.

"Oh, so that explains the fluffy bunny costume…" Gawain said.

"Neat, eh? You should see what I have on underneath…" David said.

"No, no, no… Please… As I requested earlier… NO DETAILS!" Arthur said.

"Then I guess, I should go and look for the real party eh?" David asked.

"I guess so." Lancelot said.

David and Chuck left…

"I don't know, but I'm glad they weren't in the movie…" Bors said.

"Yeah, that makes two of us…. If they were it would have been a 'Fluffy Bunny Musical with an ass whooping King Kong'." Arthur said.


End file.
